Funny moments & "Isms"

I found a stash of funny moments and "isms". :) Enjoy!
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The rapture? That's where all the righteous people are taken up to heaven. If you can still read this tomorrow after 4pm mountain standard time SHAME ON YOU! SINNER!! That or some illogical idiot, who doesn't understand that if you look hard enough you can find patterns in anything, was wrong again.Nah. You're all going to hell. ~May 20, 2011
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"Give Santa Clause Thor's hammer, and elves with little tiny Iron Man suits, and we're talking about a new adventure!" ~Matt 11-23-2012
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Ordering pizza, Matt makes a quick spreadsheet of the pizza size and cost because "their prices are are a little screwy" so... what do you want? "I want a mathematician to fix their menu and I want it done now!" ~1/18/16
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"What if you're feeling something and there's not an emoji for it?" ~Matt 2/10/16
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Matt is having pizza for dinner. I'm enjoying my own Whole30 stir fry. As I refill my plate Matt says I can't have any pizza. "No?"

"No. Because I'm a jerk and I support you." ~4/18/16

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"If you get nervous around someone, imagine them at home folding socks." ~Matt 5-6-16
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When we found a headstone of one of Matt's ancestors in the Salt Lake City Cemetery, Matt decided he'd like his headstone to be a table with a 6:6 domino in the center with the saying "Play some Bones over my bones." ... I'll see what I can do, hon.
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Missed my train, so Matt and I went to 7-11 to get sodas... I'm wearing my hearing aid Bluetooth around my neck and the cashier asks what it is. Apparently she thought it was an alert system of some sort to call police or something. Aren't those for old people who fall down and can't get up? #dontknowhowIfeelaboutthis #deaflife
~6-10-16
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"If you are against shredded cheese because it goes bad too quickly and ends up wasting food, would you want to make America grate again?" ~Matt 7-20-16
________________________________________"When Beka tells me "No, you can't shave your head. It's bad enough that you shave your beard!" I'm reminded why I love that woman. She loves me just the way I am... when I'm at my laziest." ~Matt 8-8-16
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"If committing a crime while shooting a gun makes you a gunman, wouldn't beating someone with a bat make you a batman?" ~Matt 11-16-16________________________________________
"You know if you said 'Save our city Kryptonian Supergirl!' You said the acronym for S.O.C.K.S.?"  ~Matt 12-6-16________________________________________
QOTD: "Why is it when we're sick we sound like old smokers?" ~Matt 2-10-17
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On millennials saying "woke"
It usually means you are hyper-aware of social justice, institutional, or environmental problems. It comes from people saying "wake up" to those who are living in an idealized world. I halfway blame my generation for overusing "wake up". I imagine the first time "woke" was used in that context, the word bra was used in place of bro and someone said that being woke was toats luh-jih cray cray (totally legitimately crazy). We made up crap words too when we were young. I find it strange that as we age, we all tend to act like the previous generation did. It's a cycle, kids make up words, adults call them stupid for using made up words, kid grows up has more kids, repeat. I keep imagining Grandpa Simpson shaking his fist and saying "Darn kids and their new fangled words" whenever someone complains about it. ~Matt 5-23-17
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QOTD: "I think Godzilla should wear a shirt that says I'm big in Japan" ~Matt 7-24-17
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The Utah game was great. Beka kept asking me the whole game who was saying "sparkles" in a low monotonous voice. During the 3rd quarter we finally figured out that the voice she heard was the announcer and he wasn't saying "Sparkles" he was saying "Spartans". So from now on, any team named The Spartans shall be known as The SPARKLES! ~Matt 9/17/17 #deaflife

Halloween at Work

I work with the funnest people! This is all the celebration there was today. Matt and I didn't dress up. No trick or treaters came by. We watch Coraline for the first time and called it a holiday well spent. 

Storage Unit Robbery

Note to self- be an archivist when using storage! Inventory and index! It makes it much easier to report to police what was stolen. There's only one thing I might cry over. My mission journal. The police said breaking into storage units is the new crime of choice. #cowardlycrime

We use my parent's storage unit for things that don't fit in our apartment. The loveseat my grandfather made (that's still there. Whew!), books we don't have room for (seriously, I love our place in Draper, but it was not made for readers), winter clothes, bikes, toys to pass on to children someday, that kinda thing.

Photo from Gates96 website, not my storage unit. :)

Luckily, two weeks ago or so, I went to the storage unit to get Legos, so we still have most of those. Unfortunately the Lego Movie spaceship is stolen. It's a discontinued item, so that's a real bummer. It was a real mental exercise to try to remember everything that was stolen so we could report it to the police. Lots of books are gone (the complete Wheel of Time series is one thing Matt's sad to lose), and my mission journal. Fortunately, years ago, I took a lot of stories and put them into a little self-publish book, which I have, but it's definitely the abridged version of my mission. Infinitely better than nothing.

We honestly can't remember everything we had in there, and we are doing fine without it, but it has sure caused me to kick myself. I'm an archivist. How dare I not make an inventory, a labeling system! How dare I not create a back-up of my mission journal! I put a PSA on the mission facebook page. Hopefully others will learn from my mistake!

Dad filed a police report, so we'll see if anything happens, but I think it's all just gone. From what I've found out, these robbers sell what they can and trash the rest.

Hero Quest Game Night

For a few months, once a week we go play Hero Quest with the Dissels. Lynell and Jonathan introduced Matt and I on our blind date. Now, we play board games and decompress from work together.

We're slowly going through all of the Hero Quest games. Matt is Zargon (naturally). He plays the part so well, they call him Zargon almost all the time now. :)

I play the wizard and dwarf. After 24 quests, they both died on Elf expansion quest 7. Death by werewolf. The party killed me! Zargon is very excited he might wipe our high level party.

Total Eclipse in Rigby, Idaho

You owe it to yourself to see a total eclipse before you die. Don't you dare think 90% is close enough. You MUST be in the path of totality.

The teacher in Matt kicked in as he explained the eclipse using a soccer ball and a ladle. The little kids got paper plates with the eclipse glasses taped in them for easier viewing of the sun.

Special thanks to Matt's cousins Bettyjo and Chris Harrison who let us stay at their place in Idaho! Tents were set up in their back yard for all the kids and families coming over. Matt and I opted out of sleeping in a tent. We slept under the stars, but close to the house so an extension cord could give his cpap life for sleeping.

When the sun shadows got exciting we all went to the sidewalk across the street to admire the leave shadows and take pictures.

Special thanks to Matt's cousin Lucretia for recording these videos.

Matt can cross something off his bucket list! You can't see it well in the video, but we saw shadow bands! 

Matt: The eclipse redefined the word awesome in my vocabulary. It will no longer be used to describe free ice cream, great movies, and finding a $20 bill; for I finally seen something that was truly awesome!

Staring at the sun with eclipse glasses! The white sheet on the right is for watching shadow bands.

To pass the time, Lucretia's husband, Larry, entertained the kids by playing 8-bit music on youtube. It also helped us stay awake for the drive home. 

The drive home was crazy! I enjoyed it! We talked to people in the stopped cars next to us about how incredible the eclipse was. There were people selling drinks in the neighborhoods.  Here are the texts with my Dad. My parents and my sister with some of her kids saw the eclipse in Rexburg.

 

Christmas Cruise

We won a "free" cruise by sharing a real estate post so frequently I think I lost friends and followers. The cruise is free, except for the flight, the hotel the night before, the excursions, and the room upgrade. The free room was a small room with bunk beds. Nuh-uh. We paid for a larger room with a balcony. That was absolutely worth it!

We had the choice of going on the Ensenada cruise again (a vacation Matt bought for our honeymoon, but we didn't use it until the next year) or the Caribbean. To the Atlantic we went!

To make sure we wouldn't miss the boat, we decided to fly in the night before and get a hotel. We'll never again book the cheapest hotel we can find. It was scary and dirty. We slept with our shoes on and I kept my hearing aids in.

On top of that, the flight lost our luggage. We bought a few necessities, and visited the everglades in the previous day's clothes. Eugh. It was still fun to see the alligators! Luckily we had our camera as a carry on. Our luggage made it to us the just in time to catch the cruise.

Altun Ha in Belize.

Climbing the temple in Altun Ha

Altun Ha

Christmas tree in port of Roatan

Tree in port of Belize

About to leave Cozumel

A perfect Sunday afternoon!

Christmas decorations on Carnival Glory

Sting Ray City near Grand Cayman!

Lots of iguanas in Tulum!

Zoo in Roatan

Zoo in Roatan

Adorable monkey in Roatan

I drank from a coconut bigger than my head!

Matt and Lola in Roatan

 

In Tulum! Someday we'll go back and explore the beach!

Infertility

I read this article today. If I were to add to it, I would add a warning. The more you ask "Why do they get ___ and not me?" The more you open yourself to Satan's influence. Suddenly you realize you haven't been reading your scriptures, you don't want to go to church, and your heart burns more than ever when you see other enjoying the blessing you are waiting for. Thing is, you aren't waiting patiently anymore. You're waiting in envy, frustration and anger. Anger towards Him is dangerous thing because you're lost in the mist and no longer clutching to the Rod of Iron. Now that your lack of 'Following Him' (as the article so perfectly puts it) has opened you up to the darkness, you've missed the miracle of following Him. When you follow Him, it doesn't hurt as much. When you follow Him, you remember His promises. I assume if I were to *perfectly* follow Him, it wouldn't hurt at all because I would have perfect faith and trust in His Plan.